Monday, October 28, 2013

Unfriended

I hit my Facebook "Unfriend" button for the first time today, and have been reflecting about it since.

Previously, I edited the settings of Facebook friends, to control how many and which types of posts appear on my News Feed. But today's problem was from the other end - a contact requesting I no longer post in a way they dislike.

It's an interesting problem. If something appears on my news feed about which I have a strong opinion, I usually respond, as it is after all on my feed - visible to all my friends, thus leaving it uncommented upon gives the appearance of agreement. Having friends of widely varied views, I keep comments cheerful and polite, and avoid goring oxen in such a public setting.

Today, that wasn't enough. Accused of something I hadn't done, and not knowing what I could do to please while still respecting myself, I hit "Unfriend."

Matthew 18:16-18 suggests when someone offends us, we should first go to them in private. That didn't happen today, which raises the interesting question of whether I in turn should go first in private. Several articles I read today advised not to - just hit the "Unfriend" button; don't rub anyone's nose in it and don't tell them why unless asked. On the other hand, if my action is ever noticed, I'll be happy to accept a new Friend request, and we can then discuss how they too can prune posts they don't want to see.